DEATH OF A SUPERHERO

Angry Birds—Death of a Superhero

(Excerpt)

 

Sophie: Fuck all these superheroes! Superheroes here, superheroes there! Look how super I am. I’m better than everyone else. I’m naturally better. You? You’re just a normie. Look at the poor little thing—can’t piss gold standing on her head. But we still like her. We need the normies or there wouldn’t be anyone to rescue. How kind of you! Thank you! Thank you so much!

(she spots Ümit, despondent on the satellite dish)

Oh fuck.

What are you up to?

Ümit: Knitting.

Sophie: Ha! Me too!

Ümit: —?

Sophie: I mean, that’s just what I said earlier.

Ümit: So?

Sophie: What are you doing in there? Started sleeping in a satellite dish or something?

Ümit: Yes. I don’t have a home and decided that a satellite dish was probably the safest and most comfortable place in town. Now I’m living here.

Sophie: Aha.

Ümit: Yes.

Sophie: Can I join you?

Ümit: What?

Sophie: Can I join you in there?

Ümit: It’s dangerous. There’s electricity running through it.

Sophie: But you’re in there.

Ümit: I can’t die.

Sophie: What makes you so sure?

Ümit: Just believe me.

Sophie: Are you all that arrogant?

Ümit: I don’t know who you mean by all, but basically, yes, the world’s fucked.

Sophie: There are people looking for you.

Ümit: Probably the ones I beat up earlier. Looked like they were in fancy dress.

Sophie: No, I don’t think it’s them. Although, they were a couple of clowns.

(Beat)

Ümit: What are you looking at me like that for?

Sophie: May I sit down?

Ümit: Sure, if you’re not afraid.

Sophie: Of you?

Ümit: Of the current!

Sophie: I can turn it off.

Ümit: If you say so.

Sophie: We can knit together.

Ümit: What are you knitting?

Sophie: A scarf for my mum. And you?

Ümit: A noose.

Sophie: Can you knit a noose?

Ümit: Why not?

Sophie: Sounds kind of funny.

Ümit: In theory, of course, you could hang yourself with your mum’s scarf.

Sophie: Why would I do that?

Ümit: Dunno, just an idea.

(Beat)

Sophie: I know, you wanted to be alone.

Ümit: But you go on sitting here.

Sophie: Shall I go?

Umit: Something tells me I’m not going to be alone today.

 

Tr. Imogen Taylor